I find myself posting here less and less as daily life consumes me. I think that's okay. I actually think that's a good thing. It means my heart and my head are getting back where they belong and I'm getting back on the track I need to be on.
I'm on a mission. I have a set of long and short term goals that I very much plan on meeting. Right now, a relationship isn't really on that list of goals unless a guy magically falls out of the sky and somebody decides to tap me on the shoulder and say "hey, you need to take time out of your schedules to date this one". And even then, that comment needs to be followed by a spread sheet of pros and cons with the pros heavily outweighing the latter. Every once in awhile I come across a guy that's nice to look at, chat with, flirt with, etc. but nobody has really proven to me why I need to stop the path I'm on right now (or at the very least, slow it down) to be with them. I'm okay with that.
Easter (or, Oestre if you're of the pagan beliefs) was a good one this year. It's always really exciting to see my daughter get so excited about her goodies in her Easter basket. We don't keep a lot of candy and sweets around the house so the bunny likes to deliver movies, gift cards, mad libs, and organic treats to make her happy. I really hope she never grows out of the fun of having characters deliver gifts. My mom & I still make little baskets for each other from the Easter Bunny and still label a few gifts "From Santa" at Christmas time. It just makes the holidays a little more magical and fun.
The only snag I seemed to hit today was having my ex pop up first thing this morning. One of those situations where you just kind of look sideways at your computer and go "Really? Do you really want to start with this crap right now?" I made the comment to my cousin and a friend yesterday "Ha! Tomorrow isn't just Easter, it's He Who Shall Not Be Named's Birthday! I'm going to celebrate not having to spend $ on him by going out and buying myself something nice!" I made the comment as a joke, offhand, with no intention of actually doing said buying and with no intention of giving my ex any other kind of thought. Apparently, the technological world had other ideas today. I fired up the good ol laptop earlier this afternoon with the intention of printing some tickets and boarding passes (vacation tomorrow!) and the very first thing on my laptop calendar reminder was "___ Birthday". Thanks for that MacBook. Eyeroll. Delete. I needed to put some videos onto my external hard drive so I fired that up and lo and behold, the first folder I see is from when the ex borrowed my hard drive and uploaded movies to it so his name and his movies popped up. Again, repeated eye rolling and deleting ensued but the irritation continued to hang around for a bit. One of those moments where you just kind of sit and breathe and go "REALLY?! Can't you just GO AWAY?!" Permanently? Forever? And whatever words might be synonyms for Permanently?
The path that I'm on currently does NOT include my ex, thinking about my ex, looking up my ex or any part of his life or the years that we had together. I'd quite like him to stop unexpectedly showing up! The path that I'm on very much includes moving in June as planned, finding an amazing job, and possibly even adding a Nutrition degree to my list of things I want to do. I'm thinking I may want to work with seniors once I move somewhere warmer. We'll see. Like I said, on a mission. I feel like great things are happening and I'm finally in a place where I'm happy and on the right track again.
I truly enjoyed today over all. My mom cooked a great meal and my daughter and I hung out at her house. It's FINALLY starting to get warm outside and so we played in the yard with our dogs and enjoyed the weather. I'm definitely thankful for my family and the chance to be with them as much as possible. My mind and body are healing (I'm back to Krav & lifting at the gym! Yay!) and I couldn't ask for a better group of friends and family that have stood by me in these last 6 months (that long already, I know, time flies!).
Tomorrow is a new day and my munchkin and I are off to paradise for a couple days for Spring Break. More on that when we return though. :)
Here's to the hangups and little snags in life that make us fight even harder to reach our goals. Cheers!
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