Lord I am TIRED. It takes a whole heck of a lot for me to stop moving and not want to do anything. I'm beat. Staying awake until at least 9pm so I know I'll sleep tonight is going to be a feat in itself I think because sitting here, I don't even want to walk downstairs and get dinner started.
This morning was Krav Maga. I can't even express how much I enjoyed myself. I've been a big UFC fan for awhile and have a ton of respect for people that make a living out of just going out and getting hit and then come back for more. I've never even been in a fight a day in my life but let me tell you, I see the appeal. I don't mean that in a negative manner because I don't think you should go out and look for trouble and just start brawling with someone. Learning to control what you're doing and the power it takes to throw your whole self (mind and body) into the moves is what's appealing. Being able to focus only at the task at hand and not have an instant to even let your mind wander is HUGE. I came away sore and feeling strong. The two things I love about a good workout were incorporated into this hour of survival. That's what it's about - survival. Neutralizing whatever threat is upon you without being scared of getting hit or worrying about the amount of pain you're causing the other person. To realize that I CAN do that is a really good feeling. Building up my strength has been my goal from the moment I got into fitness so this is absolutely perfect for helping to reach that.
On another subject, I had my weekly head doc appt. and it definitely went really well. She said I looked overall much happier than I have and also was progressing emotionally. It's really good to hear that the happiness I've been feeling is reflected on the outside too. I love that there has been positive growth from this whole situation. I explained to her that most of what's left of my emotions is jealousy and she truly knew what I meant. It's sort of an "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you" thing but not on that childish of a level. It stems from the hurt of "He likes her more than he likes me" kind of thing. Thankfully, I know that will fade with time and I'm really hoping that the way things are going, it will be soon. I know for sure that I truly did love my ex. I still do in some aspect but it's not the same anymore. It's more of in the way that he will always have a place in my heart because we spent so much time together and had so many good moments together. My wish (just like anyone else I suppose) is that I'm able to eventually find someone that shares the same interests that I do while having a life of their own, is trustworthy, and accepts me for who I am entirely without wanting to change me. They'll be proud of the person that I am.
Anyhow, so today has been another success. I had a great lunch with really good conversation. It's been awhile since I've met someone that can thoroughly carry on a conversation about an incredibly wide range of topics without missing a beat. And, we had sushi at Whole Foods (new to me bc I'd never had sushi from there but it was really good!) so seriously, mixing one of my favorite foods with my grocery store made my day.
I'm SO thankful for being able to see progress in my life and look forward to hopefully another successful day tomorrow. So here's to being excruciatingly sore, exhausted, and ready to conquer life. Cheers.
Things that made me happy today:
1) Krav class and the people in it. Everyone was insanely nice. And brutal.
2) Good food & great company
3) Being able to be open and 100% honest with my head doctor about everything and knowing that she's heartfelt and non-judgmental
4) Lots of packages and mail when I got home! Not so much the bills but a pretty dress (yes, I do wear those occasionally) I ordered came and a few Xmas gifts I ordered came as well.
5) Puppies!! They're currently snuggling with me
6) Good friends that wanted to hear about my day
I don't even have anything mildly irritating or upsetting to post about...
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