Friday, December 5, 2014

12/5/14 Waking Up Without Sleep

I'm not sure if I didn't sleep because I dreamt so much last night or if I didn't sleep because my body is so sore.  Either way, I'm about to get up and tackle the day but I wanted to take a  minute and clear my head.

I definitely woke up with my fists clenched this morning and was frustrated.  I was able to pull myself from the last dream that I had but it was 1 of 3 throughout the night about my ex.  All in the same location - his school and all with me attending the same school.  It wasn't military like it is in reality, it was more like a boarding school.  First dream:  My cousin & I were at some fair going on on campus, having a good time, etc and I started panicking because I didn't want to see him and I knew he would be in the same area.  Second dream:  There was some online contest I entered with some other people that included entering photos and he won because of some photo he posted of him in these goofy glasses but it wasn't even him.  So I was frustrated.  Third dream:  The lady that apparently ran the school came to me and asked me if I knew if he did drugs or anything and I told her I didn't think so but we weren't together anymore so I didn't keep track of what he did or didn't do.  She said it was because she had to give him a urinalysis for his job and she wanted me to walk to his dorm room with her.  I did, and after she knocked, an older guy came out of his room.  Apparently they had been together.  Very random.

I woke up frustrated because I knew I was dreaming and I couldn't pull myself out of the dream quick enough to not see his face.

Anyway, so I needed to really refocus my thoughts this morning and just chill for a few minutes before getting up.  It looks incredibly cold and rainy outside but it's going to be a busy morning.  Training, physical therapy, lunch with a friend and then a few errands and lots of studying!  I only have 2 weeks left until the end of my classes so I need to really get this material down.

Today WILL be a good day.  I will accept no substitutes :)  More later.

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