Mmm...I'm pretty thoughtful this morning. And hungry. But I'll take care of that part in a bit. I want to get this out so I can have an overall good day. I skipped writing last night in leu of doing some sketching which was pretty awesome. It's been a VERY long time since I opened the sketch book. I forgot how relaxing it was.
I've slept really great for 2 nights and this morning, woke up smiling. I don't remember what I was dreaming about but apparently it was good. I'm still in a fair mood. Just needing to revisit & revise the things I'm thinking about.
Today (says 1/2 the people on my news feed as well as my memory) is the annual Army/Navy Football Game. I don't particularly care about football but here's how I see things. When you're with someone, you try to be interested in it, or at the very least learn a little about it to show you care about the person you're with. Over the time that I dated my ex, I tried learning a bit about football because he liked it, liked going to games, etc. Heck, I liked going to games. It was exciting. Last year he was invited to go up to where the A/N game was being held by some friends of his. I wanted to go because of voicemails I'd found on his phone from his mom's nurse saying she couldn't wait to meet him up there, etc. so you can imagine I was freaking out a little bit about the whole thing. Whatever. Anyway, he went, the weekend passed, etc etc. I remember asking him a a couple months before I broke up with him, when he mentioned that his friend had gotten tickets again, if I could go with him this year. He said that his friend's family had gotten tickets and didn't get an extra one. I have a problem with this. First of all, STILL not introducing me to friends after a year and 1/2 of dating. Second of all, why not deny the ticket, get our own tickets, and then meet up with your friends up there? Oh the red flags that were there but I chose to overlook even when I KNEW they were there.
I thought a couple times yesterday about texting him because I was thinking about this weekend. I don't have a very strong will power but my therapist's voice rang loud and clear in my head. "What benefit would that have to you? And how would you feel if he doesn't answer you? Because history says he not going to respond". SO TRUE. I'm not putting myself through that. I can't and I won't because I deserve better than to be ignored.
So, I've gotten the morning annoyance off my chest, I'm going to choose to look forward and not backwards, and it's going to be a good day. This all leads to the perfect saying:
"Everyday is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be". Cheers.
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