Wow. So 2014 is almost gone and 2015 is waiting in the wings. So. CRAZY. The thing about time is that individual moments seem to go by slowly a lot of times but when we step back and look at time as a whole, it flies. Whether you're ready or not, it'll pass you by and before you know it, it's the end of a year.
While I was on a plane yesterday coming back from my week in the Caribbean (phenomenal by the way), I was thinking about what I've learned this year, what my predictions for the year had been during last Christmas, and what I'm looking forward to in 2015. I also came back from my vacation with a renewed spirit, cleared mind, and a resolve to better myself and leave 2014 IN 2014.
So, I did what I do best, I made a list and divided it into different sections.
My 2014 Highlights:
January: I got to take my daughter to her first concert. Lady Antebellum is one of my favorite bands & I've seen them at least 6 times so it was a joy to see her face & reactions. We had a meet & greet with them, they invited her to dance with them, & video taped her for their website.
February: I got to go to the Superbowl in NJ & spend a few days in NYC as well. I love the city. To be there for such a huge event was really cool.
Also got a second meet & greet with Lady A at another concert
March: I got my state license for Nail Artistry. Woohoo!
June: Crossed Niagara Falls off my bucket list. On a whim I decided to fly me & my daughter up for a long weekend. The Canadian side is GORGEOUS.
July: Spent a few days in South Beach/Miami. I'd never been before and went for the 4th of July. Fireworks on the beach were amazing & experiencing Miami was definitely....different. But the beaches are beautiful!
Spent 5 days at Disney World with my best friend. She & I hadn't gotten to have a girls trip in a couple years so it was fabulous just to have fun with her.
August: My 2nd vacation with my cousin. We brought our families to OBX for a week. I love her kids :)
Also spent a week in FL with my mom & daughter
September: Got to see Aerosmith in Concert with SLASH. Yes, THE Slash from Guns N Roses. His hair was fabulous.
November: I wrapped up my Personal Training Certification class & am about ready to take my official test
December: Watched my mom & daughter get their first degree black belts that they've been working toward for a couple years.
Went on Disney cruise to Cozumel & Castaway Cay, Bahamas! PHENOMENAL.
Also included in this compiled list is a couple of 5K's I ran (one with my daughter which was really cool), an increased mile time (knocked off a minute and 30 seconds) and new personal bests at the gym with weight lifting.
Things I've learned this year?
Despite the fact that your daughter's father has lived in a different state for 7 years, don't try crossing the Canadian border without a notarized form signed by him saying he knows you're not kidnapping your daughter and you're only taking her on vacation. Border officials take their jobs seriously.
Don't take yoga pants & sneakers to Miami Beach & expect that you'll fit in at any time during the day or night. Always have a bikini & stilettos on hand.
Don't go to OBX for a week and rent a house that's less than 1/2 a mile from Duck Donuts & expect that you'll actually not have donuts.
More serious lessons I've learned this year?
Save a piece of your heart when you're in a relationship because if you give up everything and you find out the other person doesn't love you back, trying to rebuild every piece of your heart is a real bitch. If you save a piece of it, at least you won't fight to rebuild the foundation over again.
Your friends really can literally save your life, no matter how far away they live.
It's okay to ask for help. So cliche but something that's extremely hard to do when you need it most.
Crying is not a weakness. It's a way to let go & find clarity.
Depression is no joke. It can pummel you in an instant & leave you so dumbfounded that you don't know which way is up.
Don't think you're going to make everyone in life happy. It's okay to compromise but if you're trying to please everyone you're going to eventually lose track of yourself.
Take care of yourself. Physically. Emotionally. Put yourself first because nobody else is going to do it.
Follow your gut. You may not want to believe what you know to be true but if you follow your instincts from the beginning, it'll save a lot of time later.
Some things I want to accomplish in 2015:
1)More travel! I love to travel & already have a couple things planned for the beginning of the year.
2) Continue to rebuild my foundation but make it stronger than it was before.
3) Run a couple of 5K's and increase those to 10K's.
4) Get my credit card paid off.
5) Build more muscle! I've done great things this year despite a few injuries & I want to beat my personal bests that I set for this year.
6) Start looking at personal training job opportunities.
7) Excel at my Krav Maga classes & continue to the intermediate level (without shredding my shoulders)
8) Make new friends/new travel buddies
9) Leave the negative from 2014 IN 2014. Only take the positive things & good memories with me.
10) Pay more attention to the small things that matter the most.
11) Smile/laugh more.
Last but not least...A LETTER TO MY EX...
Dear Ex-boyfriend,
I've thought long & hard about what I want to say to you. Tomorrow will be 3 months we've been apart. It feels MUCH longer. Some days have flown by and others...phew. Let me tell you, some days have been longest days of my life but here lately, I'm GOOD. I'm moving on & smiling & I feel like the old me. I don't know what the "proper" healing time is when dealing with a breakup, depression, etc. but I'm hopeful that I'm about back to "normal". When I broke up with you, I didn't expect it would effect me in the hugely negative way that it did. I didn't expect to be hit with depression and I didn't expect to be in a position where I needed therapy and had to put my life and my heart back together one hour at a time. I didn't expect that you'd move on within weeks to someone else and cross me off your list with a silent treatment that could rival any woman that has been scorned. Whether it be to make yourself think that you were letting me go & you would hurt me less or if it was just because you wanted me totally out of your life, I'm still not sure what your goal was with that but it doesn't benefit me to sit and ask myself that question.
I'm not sure what you've told your friends and family members. Part of me knows that if it's anything like what you told me about your exes and your ex wife, then I'm thoroughly crazy and out of my mind. Trust me, there are some days when even I believed that to be true but I know now that it's not. I left you because I asked you to tell me the truth about how you felt...and you did. I knew you would. Part of me hoped you would tell me you loved me...But I also knew that we couldn't continue on 2 different pages. You weren't present in our relationship. You know that song "The Motions" by Matthew West that you always changed when it played? It was like that...you'd call, text, spend time with me, etc. but there was no emotion in your actions. There was no heart. I felt like an obligation and someone that you just depended on to talk to when it was convenient for you. When you had a bad day I was there to listen or when you needed to vent, you'd call. After over a year and 1/2 together, I just wanted YOU. I believe you know that. For you to tell me that you loved me was the one thing I would have taken over absolutely anything that we did together. When you wrote the word "Love" signed before your name on my birthday card for the first time this year, I was ecstatic. You put up a good front, but in the end, I saw through it because I'm an emotional creature by nature. Just acting isn't good enough. I'm not saying this is your fault or making myself out to be a victim. I'm telling you why I left, plain and simple.
Despite all this, I owe you a thank you. For showing me that I can stand on my own two feet, love myself better than anyone else can, and that I can LIVE through the worst moments of my life. Breaking up with you was the worst things I've ever had to do but it brought me strength that I never knew that I had and I know that I'm okay now. Thank you for memories of the tons of good times that we had together - and there really were more than I can count. I look forward to finding someone that truly loves me back the way that I love them because everyone deserves that in life. If you've found that already, then I suppose that's the way things are meant to be. Just please don't go around leading people on for years. It's not fair to them if you're trying to figure out your life and what you want and where you want to be.
So, thank you for all the good times. I'll carry them with me into the New Year as we both move on to a new chapter in our lives.
HERE'S TO STARTING OVER WITH A NEW, STRONGER FOUNDATION.
CHEERS.
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