Well, I slept great last night. Again. Gosh, what if that could become a habit or something?! Imagine that?! I did go to bed late though. It was around midnight but I was able to sleep in a bit this morning because my daughter stayed the night with my mom.
So...this morning...it's a BIG day...it's a WEEK since I found myself on the bathroom floor with cut up wrists and called for help. It's a WEEK since I've had ANY communication with my ex. Those two things are huge right now so I'm lying here kind of looking around wondering if anything is going to stand in my way of progression today. On the plus side, the arms have healed nicely and I don't think they'll scar. My heart is probably another story and I truly believe with brokenness, it heals like a deep deep cut...new skin forms over it to make it stronger but it will always be there to remind you of what happened. There are pros and cons to that but the biggest thing for me, is being able to forgive. I never forget once I've been hurt. But I have learned how to forgive. It just takes me a VERY long time. This time, it's going to be awhile because I have the anger to go with it but I think right now, the anger is fuel for me to be able to cleanse myself and stop obsessing and move on. HEAL, HOPE, JOY, & HAPPINESS....No more tears, push the hurt away. << THAT is what I'm using to banish this situation from my life.
So, this morning will start on a positive note. I was checking my email this morning & came across one from Tumi (our favorite luggage company) that advertised new backpacks. I was THISCLOSE to forwarding it (it came as a natural reaction) because I know he'd been looking for the exact one that's on sale in the email. I stopped myself and deleted the email. I also haven't figured out how to get his name off my google chat list so I have to look at it all the time and it's a bit annoying because I'm certain he's online but appearing offline. I really need to google and figure out how to just delete it off of there. Minor things. Not upsetting and certainly not even close enough to bad to ruin my morning.
Anyhow, I do want to say, if anyone reads any of these and wants to introduce themselves or comment if I don't know you, feel free. If anyone needs to vent or talk to someone about something going on in their lives, feel free. It doesn't matter who you are. Just keep it tactful with nothing rude. :)
I'll write more when the day comes to and end but right now, it's up and at em...time to see my NEW boyfriend......GYM. ;)
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