11/15/2014 A New Day

11/15/2014

Well, it's tomorrow.  A new day, a new start, new adventures.  I figured I sit down and write now as opposed to later this evening because I have a friend coming over to visit for awhile later and I'm taking my daughter to Medieval Times for dinner.  I went to bed last night around midnight.  Had a little trouble getting comfortable (thank you previous shoulder surgery and wicked workout at the gym) but I was out for a solid 6 hours.  My alarm went off at 6am and I snoozed until 6:15am.  I really should have forced myself out of bed at that point but true to habit, I checked my emails, texts, Fitbit friends list, and daily horoscope.  If I'm going to be honest, I was looking for an email or a text from the ex and because I JUST realized that in the last couple days he took me off his Fitbit friends list, I was hoping I had imagined that somehow and I'd still see his name & picture on there.  Cue deep breathing exercises and and "you are worthwhile" mantra.  I pulled myself out of bed, opened the curtains, showered, and then went and got my daughter up so we could get ready for our run.

Today was our first 5K that we've done together.  We completed the Color Run.  I've done a couple 5K's before but never one in 30 degree weather so I had no idea what to actually expect.  Last night we got into the city late (thank you 95 traffic) so we missed pre-race day check-in and had to get up early to do it this morning.  I REALLY don't give my daughter enough credit.  She's a fighter and she never complained about being out early or having to wait to get things done a bit.  We both complained about the cold so I have absolutely nothing to say about that.  We're beach people, what do you want?  We bought some awesome colorful knee socks, put those on, and went to a zumba class that they had going on by the main stage.  It warmed us up, got us even more pumped, and we ran the race together.  My daughter hung with me for the first 2 miles and then got tired so we stopped for a 30 second rest and speed walked for a little bit.  She finished SO strong though...she spotted the finish line and went for it.  I've never been more proud because although she's athletic with karate and jogging, she's never experienced anything with so many people.  What a fun and memorable experience!

So, thus far, the day has been...dare I say, good?  I've really only had to focus myself a couple of times throughout the day so far.  When we were running there were A LOT of couples running together and I just thought that it would have been so much fun to do that and the ex would have had fun with it.  The second, when we finished the race and were walking back, my cousin texted me and asked how I was doing and wanted me to get some drawings together for a new tattoo she wants.  I solely focused on if I really wanted to delve into what's been going on with me and started getting teary eyed imagining what I was going to say to her.  I made it back to hotel room without fail but after that, decided to just let her in on everything.  Tears and all.  Cue, deep breath, calming tablets, incense being lit, and eucalyptus lotion for relaxation.  I've since recovered, refocused, and here I am.

So, that's my day so far.  Step by step...hour by hour...I look forward to the day when I can sit down and type...well, I didn't cry at all and it was a GREAT day.  I'm confident it'll come.

Things that made me happy today:
1) A really relaxing hot shower this morning
2) Seeing my daughter wake up SO excited about the run this morning
3) Having my daughter say "this is the best day of my life!  This is the best day EVER!  Thank you for bringing me here!"  before and after the race.
4) Seeing a really cute dog that had been covered in colored powder for the race.  Absolutely adorable.
5) I'm going to project on this one and go ahead and say seeing my daughters face when I tell her I'm taking her to Medieval Times for dinner...she's always SO excited to go there.  She loves it.
6)  Spending the evening with my friend who I've known since 7th grade.

Things that upset me today (so far...here's to hoping there's nothing else):
1) Waking up and realizing once again that there's not going to be any "good morning babe" text or email
2) Seeing all the darn couples running together
3) My cousin's text message about how I was doing (although I don't MIND this...I was happy to talk to her because she's very knowledgeable, understands, and loves me)