...I can feel myself letting go. I feel like that should be blown up in bold, framed, and gilded in gold or something. I actually can feel myself not caring so much anymore.
You know, I saw a text today that my ex sent my mom the day that I spoke with his new "friend" and he texted her and said "Can you tell Johanna to stop texting my friends and trying to cause trouble for me?!" See here's the thing...when you just break up with someone, and if they say they're hurt to the point of physically being sick, and they tell you they miss you A LOT...you don't just ignore them and then suddenly meet someone else a week or so later. I say this because these are the types of comments that I remember when I think of my ex. Or at least, I try to remember them. THAT is what helps me to remember that I'm doing the right thing in letting all of this go. That's what is propelling me forward...the comments like "How can I introduce my girlfriend as just a nail tech. What would that look like?"
I digress, because today was a really good day and I deserve to have A LOT of those. I got to sleep in thanks to my mom who let my daughter have a sleepover at her house last night. I mean truly slept in like I was a teenager again. Unheard of. Then I went over to my moms, ate a great brunch, and later we all met up with my friend and his mom for dinner (and ice cream). It was really fun to be surrounded by people that were just relaxed, included my daughter in the conversation, and who laughed a lot. No stress, no worries. And when the time came for me to drop everyone off at home and have my quiet time in the car on the way home....I WAS OKAY. Did I think about my ex today? Of course. Did I wonder what he was doing today? Yes. Did I wonder if he thought about me? Yeah. But it wasn't the same panicked, sad kind of thinking that I've had. It was kind of a passing thought like "okay. Well...it is what it is".
Right now though, I'm tired. I definitely want to sleep and I'm looking forward to a fun day tomorrow (tubing at the ski resort nearby!). I'd like to attempt snow boarding again this season but we'll see how my shoulder holds up before I go for that. I'm a bit clumsy so I don't need anymore injuries.
I truly am thankful for a great day and wonderful people in my life! I re-activated my Facebook today so we'll also see how that goes and I did it with the disclaimer to myself that if drama or negativity gets to be too much, then I'll take it back down. I also deactivated all the notifications that usually come to my phone so I don't check it all throughout the day. Those are MY terms and I intend on sticking by them because this is MY life and I'm not living it to check up on anyone else or worry about what anyone else is doing. Just me.
So, here's to truly starting to let go. Cheers.
Things that made me happy today:
1) Food. Good food and ice-cream :)
2) Friends that have stood by me for going on 20 years now and even though they've been left hanging in the times that I've had relationships, they're still there no matter what with no judgement.
3) Relaxation and peace of mind. You can't put a price on these and everyone deserves them.
4) Having my cousin text me & tell me we can spend New Year's Eve together at one of our favorite places. Yay for best friends and sister therapy!
5) My borage of friends that had encouraging things to say today on Facebook. They're all insanely supportive and I know I could probably turn to just about any of them if I needed to.
Things that upset me today:
1) Nothing?! I can't even really think of anything that annoyed me today...Somebody print this out & frame it :)
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